That little something

Why is it so hard to come by? I wish I could pay for it.. or trade some of my sister’s pretty outfits for it.. or give away my Civil Engineering text books for it (not that I need much pushing to do that)!

 Artists, writers, directors, for that matter creators of every kind while away a whole lifetime searching for it in vain. It’s like a deceptive little devil- lurking around the corner, waiting to unleash its voodoo on you.
 But you write it off, you turn a blind eye to it, you brush it away as an insignificant detail in the world that is so full of everything insignificant! And then you whine that your mundane life has a dearth of the ever so elusive- INSPIRATION!

 Inspiration, not karma is a bitch I tell you. You expect it to wear fancy stuff that catches your eye and draw you to it…but it masquerades in discarded rags, and hides in crevices that you royally over look! I tell myself- It’s been oh so long since I’ve written something. And I promptly sit down to write. I start pondering: What should I write about- love, politics, entertainment, day-to-day events that would mean little to any soul other than me? Then I look around…what inspires me? What inspires me? To tell tales of little consequence. To share an anecdote. To throw my head back and laugh maniacally. To sing myself hoarse along with the tv. To shout from roof tops. To perceive things that have always been alien. To create. To give words to my emotions. To delve deep in to my thoughts?? Err…I don’t know! Honestly, I wish I knew where I could find a cupful, maybe a spoonful, or even a teensie weensie sliver of Inspiration! I detest it…that feeling of being uninspired, of not having a passion stemming from something precious, something meaningful, maybe even life changing!

 Behind the beauty and majesty of any creation, idea or innovation there is Inspiration- Something that pushes you over the edge to finally piece the little things together and give them newfound splendor. Anything could inspire you- the glint a child’s eye as she devours an ice cream; the stars shining happily, oblivious to the mayhem happening down here; the simple silence on a lazy Saturday. It could be just about anything! And when you find yours, well there is no stopping you..

panic room.

Every part of her body was quivering uncontrollably. She had to hold her palms tightly over her mouth to keep herself from screaming. She felt transfixed. Her instincts were telling her to flee, but her feet felt glued to the floor. The fear pulsing through her made her immobile.

She knew that there was no escape; she would have to face the inimical situation. She was struggling to fight back the tears. She couldn't breathe properly. She could feel her heart pounding erratically. She was crouching behind the sofa; waiting for some approaching sound, some sign, some warning before she would be face to face with her biggest fear.

She always believed she was a fighter, a survivor. She would have to live through this. She would have to. This couldn’t really be happening to her; maybe it was just a nightmare; maybe it would be over soon.

She could hear the footsteps now. They were getting louder. There was a pause and the door creaked open slowly. He was just a few feet away. She couldn’t budge, she couldn't utter a world. From under the sofa, she could see his black shoes approaching.


He peeped behind the sofa- “What happened Priya?”



She jumped and clutched him.
DADDY…….Lizard near the bed!

CONVERSATION OF UNSAID THINGS

It was one of those beautiful days when you just had to be outdoors. The weather was at its pleasantest best. The breeze was cool and light. The sun was bracing itself to set. We were all sitting on the grass, doing the same things we always did at ‘our spot’. My hair was dancing wildly in the late evening breeze. I was straining my ears, trying to concentrate on the faintly audible chirping sounds coming from the Neem tree.

There are a lot of things about this place that made it ‘our spot’- The dense trees all around, making it almost impossible to guess that it’s just a 10 minute walk from the road. The little brook, which always made a reassuringly soft gushing noise. The vast expanse of non- pricky grass. The beautiful open sky.

I was sitting cross legged on the grass, nibbling at my brownie. Nina was passing around the paneer rolls, and I could hear Nayan groan and complain about the ‘all vegetarian’ menu. Riya was laughing her high pitched laugh, probably at the text that she just got. As usual, the very much in love Drishti and Asif were whispering to each other, giving the air of two people who were up to something fishy.

Everyone seemed comfortable and relaxed. The exams, which seemed to go on forever, were finally over. The summer had just begun and for a whole week, we did nothing other than catching up with all the new movies and simply driving away to the outskirts and lazing around. The Bolero that Nayan got for his 21st birthday was honestly a god-send to all of us! This summer was going to be exciting; everyone had grand plans about how they were going to spend it.

I bit into another brownie and looked at Arnav, who was sitting with his back against the tree trunk. Suddenly, the strange feeling of despair and gloom that I had been feeling all day intensified. His I-pod was on shuffle mode and his eyes were closed. He was swaying his feet slightly to the music. He was leaving for Mumbai the next day. He was the only student from our university to be selected for a prestigious 3 month research program at TIFR. As though sensing my glance, he opened his eyes. He gave me a smile; the same smile that had brightened many of my difficult days; the same smile that was as familiar to me as the back of my hand.

Arnav was really excited about the program. All the hard work that he had put in finally paid off. I remember the sleepless nights he spent before his telephonic interview and the many hours he spent on writing his paper. When he finally got through, we were all so thrilled and extremely proud of him. But the moment he told me it was in Mumbai, I couldn’t fool myself into feeling genuinely happy. I couldn’t really understand why I was reacting the way I was. How could I, his best friend since he was 6 years old, not support him?

I tried to pacify myself by thinking “It’s just a matter of 3 months, not eternity! Riya, Asif and I are going to be busy with our summer internship in Ahmedabad, so I probably won’t even miss him.”
My train of thought was disturbed by Dhrishti, who thrust a bottle of orange juice into my hand and said “Ask Arnav if he wants some”. I turned around and offered it to him. As I looked at him take his characteristic tiny gulps, I realized something. The very prospect of not seeing Arnav throughout the summer wasn’t something I could deal with. We had never been anything more than friends. Yet, this overpowering sensation that engulfed me when I thought about him leaving the next day was something I wasn’t used to.

Nina was planning to throw him a party that night and I couldn’t even bring myself to say I would help with the preparations. The very fact that he seemed so nonchalant about going away was making it even harder for me to accept it. Why couldn’t he just say that he would miss me? Why was that too hard?

Most of the food had disappeared by then. Asif and Riya, the die-hard BBT fans, were playing rock paper scissors lizard spock. Aarnav’s eyes were closed again and he seemed to be lost in a world of his own. Nayan yawned pointedly and checked his watch “It’s getting dark, I think we should head to Nina’s place for dinner.” Everyone mumbled in agreement. Nina had a lot of fun plans for the night. It was going to be the last time we would all be together before the new semester started.

Everyone got up, gathered their stuff and started walking towards the car, which was parked near the road. I looked around and saw that we had left a mess behind. As usual, nobody seemed to bother cleaning it up. I kneeled down and started collecting all the trash and stuffing it into a cover. It was our spot after all.
Drishti seemed to be describing something about her modern art project to the others. I could hear her voice become faint as they walked farther away.

When I was done cleaning up the mess, I got up and picked up my bag. As I slung it on my shoulder, I saw Arnav standing behind, tucking his earphones into his pocket. I thought he had left with the others! He slowly walked towards me. His expression was calm and peaceful. Didn’t it hurt at all to leave? I looked away, silently pleading him to say something. He came closer and gently took my hand and gave it a slight tug, prodding me to start walking. By then, the rest of them had disappeared behind the dense expanse of trees.

He did not say anything, I did not say anything. We just walked on, having a conversation of unsaid things.

When we reached the car, he just let go, looked at me and nodded.
As I got in, Riya looked at me strangely and said "Why are you smiling?"
I just shrugged-"Oh...its nothing! By the way, is it possible the weather became more beautiful since we got here?”

so much drama over hair???

I'm someone who strongly believes that "You're only as good as your last haircut". And you can imagine what would qualify as the worst nightmare for someone like me. Now that I've given you a heads up, you can truly appreciate this post which starts on a certain eventful day last week-
I decide to get one of my usual haircuts. I go to the usual parlor, sit at the usual chair and stare at my usual hairstylist. She asks me the usual question- “Do you want to go for something different”?
Well, Do I? I think I do! I need a change, Don’t we all?
“Change is the only constant” I decide, and tell her- “Sure, let’s try something new”. Now “something new” could mean infinite things but did it strike me to be more specific? Sadly not!
She nods her head enthusiastically and takes a chunk of hair just above my forehead and then the scissors happily go snip snap. She is done before I realize something is happening to me! I look into the mirror, and I stare at a scary/ amusing look alike of mine with hair that would look great on a 6 year old. As I sit there, digesting it, she finishes with the rest of my hair. No change of style there, just a little length reduction. (Phew! There is still some normalcy in my life).

I pay her and leave the parlor. As I walk back, my brain is whirring, trying to decide how to react. I’m screeching in my head-“I have that typical Chinese fringe which looks atrocious on Indian girls!” and “Please God let me just die right now, I can’t live through this nightmare” etc.

The prospect of coming back to the campus was daunting but I didn't have a choice, did I? Immediately after getting onto the bus, I tied a scarf around my head. Which, I now feel was a really juvenile attempt!
The next few days were initially depressing, then frustrating and finally simply amusing. I had to endure the most freakishly stupid comparisons and the rudest of comments.
Here are some of the things/people I was compared to:
->a poodle (being told I look like a dog did make my day)
-> a UKG kid (I heard a lot of this one in different variations, all as amusing as the next)
->‘Chinky’ (whether or not that is offensive is debatable)
->Katy Perry (wherever did that come from?)
->Cleopatra (I knew I was bound to hear that one)
->some pokemon character (I don’t know which one and I honestly don’t care. I hate them all)
->Wilma from Scooby Doo (she looks soooo geeky!)
I don’t even remember the rest of them.

Whatever I felt, I should say, there is one important thing that I learnt over these past few days. As long as you don't accept your shortcomings (in my case short fringes) people will crush your confidence and be extremely rude and vindictive. Just gracefully accept it and save people the trouble of laughing at you, simply laugh at yourself!

“An intelligent man is one who builds a wall with the bricks that others throw at him.”

True Story.

To jinx or not to jinx, that is the question.

If I was gifted with the super power to secretly jinx/hurt random people who do annoying things, my first targets would be-

1.People who pee on roads.
2.People who play blaring, irritating music in public.
3.People who eat like pigs but never ever put on weight.
4.People who think cheating, smoking, stealing etc. is COOL!
5.People who just can’t stop honking even when the damn signal is red.
6.People who handle their contact lenses like they don’t mind becoming blind.
7.People who think being rude is simply being frank.
8.People who think that getting out of India is the only solution to EVERYTHING.
9.People who think all south Indians are dark and ugly.
10.People who can never truly appreciate what they have.

"Alas! Ear wax!"

Some of you might have guessed what the post is about after reading the title.



Here's the thing- I've always been a die hard Harry Potter fan. As I kid, I adored the books and the movies and simply worshiped J.K.Rowling. The word 'Harry' was enough to grab my full attention to the person uttering it. I made friends based on whether or not they were HP fans! I know, hard to believe! Every latest up-date about the HP franchise and about JKR had to reach me immediately- I made sure of that. I used to prowl around Mugglenet.com and leakycauldron.com like a demented hippogriff. I was meticulous to see to it that no link in any of the popular websites was left out.

I ordered the 7th book a month in advance and got it the minute Walden (My favorite bookstore)opened the morning of the release.I remember having lengthy discussions with my fellow obsessed fans about the intriguing aspects of the plot from different angles. None of the predictions that we had earlier made about the book had come true. (Trust JKR's genius to do that). I also remember trying to persuade my friends to wear a black wrist band after Half-Blood Prince released, as we were mourning Dumbledore's death.

Till today I have the collage of 70 pictures cut out from newspapers and magazines, which I made 7 years ago. I still own some stuff from my 'Harry Gallery'- things like Harry Potter stationery items, coffee-mugs, post cards, t-shirts etc.( Its a wonder my obsession did not drive my parents to disown me!.

My favorite past time was to play Harry Potter quiz with friends. If you still aren't freaked out after reading all this, now you will be- The year I got the Chamber of Secrets DVD, I watched the movie 13 times. I drew a lightning bolt scar with an eye liner and yelled 'Expecto Patronum' at everyone in the house the week Prisoner of Azkaban movie released.Well, I could go on and on with such stories...

Growing up with Harry has been truly amazing! Understanding about choices, about death, about love and about courage is as much a part of the books as is the incredibly interwoven genius plot. It really saddens me that the 'epic conclusion'- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II is also out. Watching all the cast and crew getting emotional on the last day of filming Harry Potter made me extremely nostalgic.Once a Harry Potter fan, always a harry Potter fan I guess!

I'm grateful to JKR for adding magic to my childhood and for teaching millions of kids about the pleasure of devouring a book. I think I will tell my grand kids the story of Harry Potter like my Gran told me the Mahabharata and Ramayana!

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the books:

Harry Potter:
"Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head!"

"Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life?"

"Dumbledore's man through and through. That's right."

"She's Ron's sister.
But she's ditched Dean!
She's still Ron's sister.
I'm his best mate!
That'll make it worse.
If I talked to him first-
He'd hit you.
What if I don't care?
He's your best mate!"


Albus Dumbledore:

"Your mother died to save you. If there is one thing Voldemort cannot understand, it is love."

"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

"Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"

"What happened down in the dungeons between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so, naturally the whole school knows."


Ron Weasley:

"Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow,
Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow."

"I'll make Goyle do lines, he hates writing," said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle's low grunt, mimed writing in midair. "I...must...not...look...like...a...baboon's...backside."

“And what in the name of Merlin’s most baggy Y Fronts was that about?"


Hermione Granger:

"Just because it's taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn't mean no one else has spotted I'm a girl!"

"I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed - or worse, expelled. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to bed."

"Grawp's about sixteen feet tall, enjoys ripping up twenty-foot pine trees, and knows me," she snorted, "as Hermy."


Fred and George Weasley:

"Give her hell from us, Peeves."

"You don't want to bottle your anger up like that, Harry, let it all out," said Fred, beaming. "There might be a couple people fifty miles away who didn't hear you."

"You haven't got a letter on yours," George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge."

OVERRULED...

Rule...its a funny word, you know. If you really observe, it has so many dimensions and categories to it. Take a minute to think of the last time you broke a rule. Some would, without even having to think, tell you in one breath. While, there would be others who will scrutinize and analyze every little 'not so right' thing they have done lately.I guess this is because the phrase,'breaking a rule' can be relative. What some may consider as an offense may be nothing but 'out of the ordinary' for others.

Is signing in for your friend at the hostel entrance considered as 'rule breaking'? What about cutting the queue in the mess?
I'm not talking about legal rule breaking....you know just normal stuff!

As we grow up, so many rules which used to exist at home, slowly fade into the oblivion (either for the better or for the worse). For me, it has been things like "Don't skip breakfast","Don't stay up all night before an exam" to "No ice cream when its raining". We obviously need to change as we grow older and move to different places. It as though we are constantly writing and rewriting the set of rules we live our life by. Don't tell me you are the kind of person who sticks to his/her value system no matter what.I'm not going to buy it!

I always wonder-Rules are rules right? or are there kinds that can be overlooked and kinds that can't.I mean, we can't exactly lead the life of a Sadhu, doing all the right things all the times. We do falter.
Chetan Bhagat said- "To be successful, be sincere, not serious" and yet again we are left to decipher for ourselves what the precise meaning of 'sincere' is.
So many times in life, I find myself caught up in an internal conflict- whether or not to do something which everyone else thinks is right but I seem to believe is wrong.

Its true what they say, nothing is black or white...the varying shades of grey is all you get.