She was home

This series  is dedicated some people I love and what defines them..

She was never the kind to appreciate too much physical labor. She believed in the comfort of a book in a nook or a hot mug of drinking chocolate. She couldn’t believe that she had been trekking with very few intermittent breaks for over 14 hours now. She didn’t understand where the energy came from. And even more surprisingly, not once did she complain about the biting cold or the murky soup.

Why would she. She was in paradise- the embodiment of everything beautiful, of utopia and of bliss. The miles and miles of snowcapped mountains around her were more breathtaking than anything she had ever witnessed. She could touch the clouds, she could feel the strong yet loving zephyr brushing her face and making her scarf flutter. She could feel every pore of her body feeling relaxed and at peace.

This place here, she could stay here forever and never want anything else. The beauty of the mountain was that it made her feel tiny and insignificant, but somehow she enjoyed that feeling. The vast expanse of seeming infinity which reminded her that she was part of something bigger.

She breathed in till her lungs were joyfully filled up. She had never thought breathing in itself could be a joyful experience. She watched the setting sun play hide and seek with the clouds, its rays bouncing off the melting snow. Her cheeks were flushed pink with the cold and the exercise; and her lips were chapped. It hurt when she smiled, but she couldn't stop smiling.

She was almost glad that she didn't have mobile coverage here. She didn't need any interruptions while she was on this intimate date with Nature. She wanted to soak in more and more of this unadulterated beauty. She thought of what her definition of beauty had been all her life and laughed at her ignorance.

She was home.

“Change is the only constant.

Change is necessary for human race to outdo itself.

Change pushes you out of your comfort zone and forces you to experience things you would never otherwise try.

Change is refreshing and entertaining, it is a necessary evil…” blabity blah…I can go on forever.

Well, I don’t have anything against change. It’s just that- it can suck sometimes. You don’t want a new blanket just because your old one is ragged, faded and smelly. Maybe you like the fact that it’s ragged, faded and smelly. Maybe you like the memories associated with it, the comfort and familiarity of its softness against your cheek. “Why should I change it!” I remember arguing with my mum when she was after my life to get a new quilt.

Change- be it moving to a new city, taking up a new job, buying a new pair of shoes- can be exciting on one hand and downright annoying on the other. The worst kind is the change that sneaks up on you before you have any time to digest it. I transitioned from Undergrad to Postgrad in a day. Exactly one frigging day. I was done with my Engineering on June 13^th and June 14^th, my scared ass was shipped off to Kolkata for an MBA. Just like that- kaboom! And I suffered from what I call ‘The Fresher’s syndrome’. You see, the guys who join a B-school after a good 2-3 years of work experience would’ve long forgotten just how chilled out B.Tech is, they would also be mentally prepared to join a course and make new friends. Poor little me, on the other hand- I felt uprooted from my life, I missed my favorite Mess paranthas, I missed not having attendance and most of all, I missed all my besties. I so wanted to kick Change in the nuts.

The thing about eventual change that happens to people is that, it’s harder for the people around them than for themselves. My school friends who had watched me gag over anything that had the tiniest amount of cheese in it, now stare at me in utter disbelief when I very eagerly order a cheese pasta. They can’t believe that my tastes, habits, attitude towards things etc. could’ve changed over time.

Long term relationships fall apart. People get fired. Stars lose their ‘stardom’. Siblings fight- all because people change with time. People suddenly become alien, even to those who have known them all their life.

The inalienable truth about change is that- you can’t fight it.

You are going to become fat, You are not going to have the same 4 AM friends you have now, You are not going to have your hair forever, You are not always going to live in your favorite city, or even country, for that matter. Some things you choose, some are chosen for you. You can complain, fall belly down on the floor and kick your hands all you want; OR you can give yourself time to like the new things coming your way. Embrace the change, if I may patronize you with the cliché.

The thing is- I don’t totally hate the new quilt my mom got me. I love my new friends in college now and I don’t mind the fact that I can finally eat cheese like a normal person. Change is like a new pet, it might not be potty trained initially and might be the biggest all-consuming-pain; but soon enough it becomes a cherished part of your life. You don’t mind the trouble, you in fact enjoy it. 

5 reasons why you must never pass out of college and stay there forever and ever

1.     Do you like laughing, shouting, creating some original music on your computer desk, or maybe even talking?

Beware, office is quiet, very quiet. So quiet that you can’t read a funny book or enjoy a pack of crunchy choco chip cookies without garnering some unwanted attention in your direction.

2.     As a student, social relations are already worked out for you-

You have your ‘gang’, some acquaintances and of course lots of enemies (the large categories of Profs, juniors, nerds, guards at the gate etc. fall here by default, reducing a lot confusion).

At work the dynamics are so messed up, you never know what your relation with the next guy is.

You have three to four levels of bosses. You can ‘sir’ a few, but not all.

You have teams and divisions and hierarchies.

And if you are intern, then well you belong neither here nor there.

 You are just one little confused kitten, unsure of whom to get a back rub from and whom to give the *all teeth baring* scowl.

3.     College is a whole world in itself, you walk from the Admin Block to the hostels and you might be on a different planet. You have some people discussing an assignment at one corner of the mess, screwing their faces in concentration and giving the air of people rewriting the Constitution of India. Meanwhile just two tables away; some guys are rubbing their eyes and trying to string words together in an attempt to gain some semblance of real life after playing video games for 18 hours.

 At work?

 It’s just cubicles, more cubicles and some more *equally fascinating and cold enough to freeze you though it’s a 45 degrees outside* cubicles.

4.     Remember “Big Brother” from George Orwell’s 1984?

He reins over all offices, and he is watching you. Constantly. Right now too.

Do you get that feeling of eyes piercing your back? That’s him.

You can’t call your girlfriend, or share memes on Facebook or check out the new Sponge Bob boxers collection on jabong.

5.     You must listen to people, like actually listen.

You must listen, and nod along and give intellectual insights.

How do people go so long without some gossip and the occasional soul cleansing process of bitching is beyond me! :O

So kids, Stay in college. 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

For my Creative Writing course assignment, we were asked to write a short scene on this cartoon---

After two weeks of looking for a new place to rent, I finally saw a to-let board outside a quaint looking little house.

A hefty woman with an exasperated expression opened the door.

“Ah, the room..” she said after I stated my purpose of visit.

“C’mon in boy, I’ll tell you more about the place.”

I was seated on a tattered sofa held together with what looked like medical adhesive and soon a cup of muddy brown liquid found its way into my hands.

I looked around, trying to grasp the strange details of the room around me and thought it was safer to simply start some conversation “What does Mr.Dumpty do?”

“Sigh…Mr.Dumpty, what can I say. He runs a little shop down the lane. But does he stay there you ask me? Oh no, he doesn’t.

He has to go about the town, doing the things that ‘make him happy’ as he says…and Ah how mad they make me.”

I could see where she was headed, so I said “We could see the room now may be?”

“The room! No boy, there is no room. You see, Mr.Dumpty, he is the rough kinds; he can’t sit cooped up in one place. He sure loves some adventure.

I’ve seen almost all his bones break and heal in the 20 years of our marriage. And last week he came home in one of his usual disarrayed states. He fell off a wall he said. A wall boy! But I wasn’t surprised, the man is an adrenaline junkie, he has to do everything he can to fall off places and put me through hell.”

Now I was beginning to lose my patience, “So what about the room?”

“Oh yes the room. Now I have permanently converted it into Mr.Dumpty’s own hospital room. And he keeps it occupied a fair amount of time and you know what….”

I looked at the board again on my way out, and grabbed it and threw it in the trash, to save some other unsuspecting soul from a ruined afternoon.

A fraandly reminder

Dear boys we know, don’t know and probably will never know,

All we are asking for is some respect.

Remember all those times when you casually observed that we are physically weaker than your lot? Well, you are right.

But also try to remember that we have tremendous strength that helps us cope with the many physical pains owing to the gender we were born with and the unaccounted suffering owing to the society that we were born in.

Remember that friend who suggests “let’s go to some mall and check out chicks/colors/papas” (and whatever other disgusting references you make towards women)?

Next time around, find out where his sister is, and take him to that place and leer at her.

Remember all those times you have either witnessed or heard of some girl at the bus stop/ on the train/ in a shop, who was called offensive things while walking by or whistled at or touched inappropriately? Well…all of us have lived through many such experiences, some so terrifying that we choose not to recollect them but they  keep coming back to us in haunting memories.

Open your eyes and ears dear boys, it might seem like a lot of fun…the casual teasing, the harmless ogling, the ragging etc. But it is anything but harmless.

We have some great men in our lives-our friends, brothers, cousins and neighbors. They go out of their way to protect us and treat us well. But I’ve seen the same men “ogle” at some random “chick” that they come across, forgetting that is she is just another girl like us, someone with feelings, someone who should be treated the same way.

 All we are asking for is some respect.

Love from,

All the girls you know, don’t know and probably will never know.

That little something

Why is it so hard to come by? I wish I could pay for it.. or trade some of my sister’s pretty outfits for it.. or give away my Civil Engineering text books for it (not that I need much pushing to do that)!

 Artists, writers, directors, for that matter creators of every kind while away a whole lifetime searching for it in vain. It’s like a deceptive little devil- lurking around the corner, waiting to unleash its voodoo on you.
 But you write it off, you turn a blind eye to it, you brush it away as an insignificant detail in the world that is so full of everything insignificant! And then you whine that your mundane life has a dearth of the ever so elusive- INSPIRATION!

 Inspiration, not karma is a bitch I tell you. You expect it to wear fancy stuff that catches your eye and draw you to it…but it masquerades in discarded rags, and hides in crevices that you royally over look! I tell myself- It’s been oh so long since I’ve written something. And I promptly sit down to write. I start pondering: What should I write about- love, politics, entertainment, day-to-day events that would mean little to any soul other than me? Then I look around…what inspires me? What inspires me? To tell tales of little consequence. To share an anecdote. To throw my head back and laugh maniacally. To sing myself hoarse along with the tv. To shout from roof tops. To perceive things that have always been alien. To create. To give words to my emotions. To delve deep in to my thoughts?? Err…I don’t know! Honestly, I wish I knew where I could find a cupful, maybe a spoonful, or even a teensie weensie sliver of Inspiration! I detest it…that feeling of being uninspired, of not having a passion stemming from something precious, something meaningful, maybe even life changing!

 Behind the beauty and majesty of any creation, idea or innovation there is Inspiration- Something that pushes you over the edge to finally piece the little things together and give them newfound splendor. Anything could inspire you- the glint a child’s eye as she devours an ice cream; the stars shining happily, oblivious to the mayhem happening down here; the simple silence on a lazy Saturday. It could be just about anything! And when you find yours, well there is no stopping you..

panic room.

Every part of her body was quivering uncontrollably. She had to hold her palms tightly over her mouth to keep herself from screaming. She felt transfixed. Her instincts were telling her to flee, but her feet felt glued to the floor. The fear pulsing through her made her immobile.

She knew that there was no escape; she would have to face the inimical situation. She was struggling to fight back the tears. She couldn't breathe properly. She could feel her heart pounding erratically. She was crouching behind the sofa; waiting for some approaching sound, some sign, some warning before she would be face to face with her biggest fear.

She always believed she was a fighter, a survivor. She would have to live through this. She would have to. This couldn’t really be happening to her; maybe it was just a nightmare; maybe it would be over soon.

She could hear the footsteps now. They were getting louder. There was a pause and the door creaked open slowly. He was just a few feet away. She couldn’t budge, she couldn't utter a world. From under the sofa, she could see his black shoes approaching.


He peeped behind the sofa- “What happened Priya?”



She jumped and clutched him.
DADDY…….Lizard near the bed!