She was home (3)

This series is dedicated to some people I love and what defines them..

She double checked the door to ensure it was latched. She needed some privacy- she didn’t want anyone to witness her doing the sinful thing that she had in mind. She hoped the door was sound proof, lest someone in the corridor hear her while she hit the peaks of ecstasy. Maybe she should play some music to drown it out. She sat down on the floor, she knew girls got messy when they did what she was about to do. And then she slowly took it off.

The wrapping, of course. And she looked at that glorious-melty-gooey-stairway-to-heaven in her hands. When she put the first cube in her mouth, she thought she might die a little. It melted slowly on her tongue. To say it was delicious would be the understatement of the century. It was earth shattering, it was life changing and it was better than orgasmic.

 She was lost in the texture, the smell and the taste - it was as though everything good in the universe was collected over the centuries and packed into a small piece heaven. She was filled with a warm and fuzzy sensation. She could just give up these worldly material pleasures and float up into air. She was almost out of breath. It was Moksh.

She spotted some drippy bits on her shirt, she lifted it up and licked them clean. She attacked the wrapper next; leaving even the tiniest morsel would be just blasphemous.

Her fingers were brown by the time she was done. She would be foolish to use a napkin. She attended to them one by one, teaching them a lesson. Aaah, she was done.

She was in Paradise.

She was home (2)

This series is dedicated to some people I love and what defines them..

She looked out of the sliding doors that were perpetually in an identity crisis of whether they were windows or doors. The view was too good to be true. It was pouring like nobody’s business. The trees were swaying moodily, dancing reluctantly to the breeze. The lake, on the other hand was ecstatic, the ripples gushing forward gaily. 

She held that tiny miracle in her hand, the piece of magic that could play music anywhere. Her head was leaning against the pillow and she sat on the huge beanbag which was so snug that she knew she needed someone to come wrest her out of it.

 She was tapping her feet to the slow rhythm of the song. Music moved her like nothing else. She could feel every beat percolate into her very being. She felt it filling her up with an emotion so intense, it was overwhelming to say the least. She didn’t even realize the goose bumps sneak up on her. How could something so beautiful come from nothing - something that could fill you up with bliss or move you to tears. Every word so magical, strung together seamlessly to tell a story.

She turned up the volume, till all she could hear, feel and think of was the music. And then she started singing along. At first slowly and soon like she was the only person on this planet earth, like nothing and no one could stop her in this trance.

Why did she have to do the mundane things of life. When she could listen to music instead, when she could breathe it in, soak every tiny bit of her in it and feel more alive than anything else could make her feel.    

She was home

This series  is dedicated some people I love and what defines them..

She was never the kind to appreciate too much physical labor. She believed in the comfort of a book in a nook or a hot mug of drinking chocolate. She couldn’t believe that she had been trekking with very few intermittent breaks for over 14 hours now. She didn’t understand where the energy came from. And even more surprisingly, not once did she complain about the biting cold or the murky soup.

Why would she. She was in paradise- the embodiment of everything beautiful, of utopia and of bliss. The miles and miles of snowcapped mountains around her were more breathtaking than anything she had ever witnessed. She could touch the clouds, she could feel the strong yet loving zephyr brushing her face and making her scarf flutter. She could feel every pore of her body feeling relaxed and at peace.

This place here, she could stay here forever and never want anything else. The beauty of the mountain was that it made her feel tiny and insignificant, but somehow she enjoyed that feeling. The vast expanse of seeming infinity which reminded her that she was part of something bigger.

She breathed in till her lungs were joyfully filled up. She had never thought breathing in itself could be a joyful experience. She watched the setting sun play hide and seek with the clouds, its rays bouncing off the melting snow. Her cheeks were flushed pink with the cold and the exercise; and her lips were chapped. It hurt when she smiled, but she couldn't stop smiling.

She was almost glad that she didn't have mobile coverage here. She didn't need any interruptions while she was on this intimate date with Nature. She wanted to soak in more and more of this unadulterated beauty. She thought of what her definition of beauty had been all her life and laughed at her ignorance.

She was home.

“Change is the only constant.

Change is necessary for human race to outdo itself.

Change pushes you out of your comfort zone and forces you to experience things you would never otherwise try.

Change is refreshing and entertaining, it is a necessary evil…” blabity blah…I can go on forever.

Well, I don’t have anything against change. It’s just that- it can suck sometimes. You don’t want a new blanket just because your old one is ragged, faded and smelly. Maybe you like the fact that it’s ragged, faded and smelly. Maybe you like the memories associated with it, the comfort and familiarity of its softness against your cheek. “Why should I change it!” I remember arguing with my mum when she was after my life to get a new quilt.

Change- be it moving to a new city, taking up a new job, buying a new pair of shoes- can be exciting on one hand and downright annoying on the other. The worst kind is the change that sneaks up on you before you have any time to digest it. I transitioned from Undergrad to Postgrad in a day. Exactly one frigging day. I was done with my Engineering on June 13^th and June 14^th, my scared ass was shipped off to Kolkata for an MBA. Just like that- kaboom! And I suffered from what I call ‘The Fresher’s syndrome’. You see, the guys who join a B-school after a good 2-3 years of work experience would’ve long forgotten just how chilled out B.Tech is, they would also be mentally prepared to join a course and make new friends. Poor little me, on the other hand- I felt uprooted from my life, I missed my favorite Mess paranthas, I missed not having attendance and most of all, I missed all my besties. I so wanted to kick Change in the nuts.

The thing about eventual change that happens to people is that, it’s harder for the people around them than for themselves. My school friends who had watched me gag over anything that had the tiniest amount of cheese in it, now stare at me in utter disbelief when I very eagerly order a cheese pasta. They can’t believe that my tastes, habits, attitude towards things etc. could’ve changed over time.

Long term relationships fall apart. People get fired. Stars lose their ‘stardom’. Siblings fight- all because people change with time. People suddenly become alien, even to those who have known them all their life.

The inalienable truth about change is that- you can’t fight it.

You are going to become fat, You are not going to have the same 4 AM friends you have now, You are not going to have your hair forever, You are not always going to live in your favorite city, or even country, for that matter. Some things you choose, some are chosen for you. You can complain, fall belly down on the floor and kick your hands all you want; OR you can give yourself time to like the new things coming your way. Embrace the change, if I may patronize you with the cliché.

The thing is- I don’t totally hate the new quilt my mom got me. I love my new friends in college now and I don’t mind the fact that I can finally eat cheese like a normal person. Change is like a new pet, it might not be potty trained initially and might be the biggest all-consuming-pain; but soon enough it becomes a cherished part of your life. You don’t mind the trouble, you in fact enjoy it. 

5 reasons why you must never pass out of college and stay there forever and ever

1.     Do you like laughing, shouting, creating some original music on your computer desk, or maybe even talking?

Beware, office is quiet, very quiet. So quiet that you can’t read a funny book or enjoy a pack of crunchy choco chip cookies without garnering some unwanted attention in your direction.

2.     As a student, social relations are already worked out for you-

You have your ‘gang’, some acquaintances and of course lots of enemies (the large categories of Profs, juniors, nerds, guards at the gate etc. fall here by default, reducing a lot confusion).

At work the dynamics are so messed up, you never know what your relation with the next guy is.

You have three to four levels of bosses. You can ‘sir’ a few, but not all.

You have teams and divisions and hierarchies.

And if you are intern, then well you belong neither here nor there.

 You are just one little confused kitten, unsure of whom to get a back rub from and whom to give the *all teeth baring* scowl.

3.     College is a whole world in itself, you walk from the Admin Block to the hostels and you might be on a different planet. You have some people discussing an assignment at one corner of the mess, screwing their faces in concentration and giving the air of people rewriting the Constitution of India. Meanwhile just two tables away; some guys are rubbing their eyes and trying to string words together in an attempt to gain some semblance of real life after playing video games for 18 hours.

 At work?

 It’s just cubicles, more cubicles and some more *equally fascinating and cold enough to freeze you though it’s a 45 degrees outside* cubicles.

4.     Remember “Big Brother” from George Orwell’s 1984?

He reins over all offices, and he is watching you. Constantly. Right now too.

Do you get that feeling of eyes piercing your back? That’s him.

You can’t call your girlfriend, or share memes on Facebook or check out the new Sponge Bob boxers collection on jabong.

5.     You must listen to people, like actually listen.

You must listen, and nod along and give intellectual insights.

How do people go so long without some gossip and the occasional soul cleansing process of bitching is beyond me! :O

So kids, Stay in college. 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

For my Creative Writing course assignment, we were asked to write a short scene on this cartoon---

After two weeks of looking for a new place to rent, I finally saw a to-let board outside a quaint looking little house.

A hefty woman with an exasperated expression opened the door.

“Ah, the room..” she said after I stated my purpose of visit.

“C’mon in boy, I’ll tell you more about the place.”

I was seated on a tattered sofa held together with what looked like medical adhesive and soon a cup of muddy brown liquid found its way into my hands.

I looked around, trying to grasp the strange details of the room around me and thought it was safer to simply start some conversation “What does Mr.Dumpty do?”

“Sigh…Mr.Dumpty, what can I say. He runs a little shop down the lane. But does he stay there you ask me? Oh no, he doesn’t.

He has to go about the town, doing the things that ‘make him happy’ as he says…and Ah how mad they make me.”

I could see where she was headed, so I said “We could see the room now may be?”

“The room! No boy, there is no room. You see, Mr.Dumpty, he is the rough kinds; he can’t sit cooped up in one place. He sure loves some adventure.

I’ve seen almost all his bones break and heal in the 20 years of our marriage. And last week he came home in one of his usual disarrayed states. He fell off a wall he said. A wall boy! But I wasn’t surprised, the man is an adrenaline junkie, he has to do everything he can to fall off places and put me through hell.”

Now I was beginning to lose my patience, “So what about the room?”

“Oh yes the room. Now I have permanently converted it into Mr.Dumpty’s own hospital room. And he keeps it occupied a fair amount of time and you know what….”

I looked at the board again on my way out, and grabbed it and threw it in the trash, to save some other unsuspecting soul from a ruined afternoon.

A fraandly reminder

Dear boys we know, don’t know and probably will never know,

All we are asking for is some respect.

Remember all those times when you casually observed that we are physically weaker than your lot? Well, you are right.

But also try to remember that we have tremendous strength that helps us cope with the many physical pains owing to the gender we were born with and the unaccounted suffering owing to the society that we were born in.

Remember that friend who suggests “let’s go to some mall and check out chicks/colors/papas” (and whatever other disgusting references you make towards women)?

Next time around, find out where his sister is, and take him to that place and leer at her.

Remember all those times you have either witnessed or heard of some girl at the bus stop/ on the train/ in a shop, who was called offensive things while walking by or whistled at or touched inappropriately? Well…all of us have lived through many such experiences, some so terrifying that we choose not to recollect them but they  keep coming back to us in haunting memories.

Open your eyes and ears dear boys, it might seem like a lot of fun…the casual teasing, the harmless ogling, the ragging etc. But it is anything but harmless.

We have some great men in our lives-our friends, brothers, cousins and neighbors. They go out of their way to protect us and treat us well. But I’ve seen the same men “ogle” at some random “chick” that they come across, forgetting that is she is just another girl like us, someone with feelings, someone who should be treated the same way.

 All we are asking for is some respect.

Love from,

All the girls you know, don’t know and probably will never know.