LOL...!!!

I really love one liners, cool quotes, be it funny or thought-provoking....I always make it a point to note down the one's i find most amusing.....Here are some of my favs(read each one slowly and absorb it before going to the next one)-

-If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

-Don't blame yourself. Let me do it

-Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator

-Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

-Why do our noses run and our feet smell?

-Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

-Why do they call it "common sense" when it's so rare?

-If electricity comes from electrons does it mean morality comes from morons?

-If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

-Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

-To err is human, to forgive is not Company Policy!

-Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.

-If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk

-Everyone must believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink

-You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

-Love makes the world go 'round, with a little help from intrinsic angular momentum

-Don't steal. The government hates competition

-The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

-I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure

-Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

-Parents spend the first part our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it asking us to sit down and shut up.

-BEST ONE FOR THE LAST--Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics